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All our memories........ no album big enough to put them in [May. 29th, 2007|06:51 pm]
[mood |depresseddepressed]
[music |Stolen - Dashboard Confessional]

About a week and a half ago I went and visited my grandfather, and as
we sat on his screened in back porch drinking sweet tea he ask me, "
Matt how are you holding up?" I simply laughed at the question, cause
the past 2 months of my life have been the toughest in a while. So as I
explained to him why I laughed and told him about all the things going
on in my life, he looked down at the ground and said, "Matthew Carlton
Bedwell, I am only going to tell you this one time, and you remember
this for the rest of your life. God is still in control." I tried to
interupt and tell him I knew this but he continued, "and sometimes he
just has to break you all the way down to nothing just to build you
back up again." Well as I sit here typing this I am truly truly broken.
I do not know where to go, what to do, who to turn to, nothing. See in
the past two months Ive lost my grandmother ( who I was extremely close
too), and there are 2 other extremely personal things that have also
happened, and now I have to watch someone I love and adore more than
anything pack up and leave town. A person that I could go to and tell
anything at any time of day OR night. I have never in my life ever once
claimed to be stong emotionally, simply because I AM NOT! I know this,
I wear all of my feelings on my sleeves as I always have. It does not
take much at all for me to get so pissed off my face turns red and my
fist clench( I swear they do that own their own). On the same token it
does not take much for me to break down and cry. I am emotional, extremely emotional. Everything I do, I do with emotion, so this set of circustances are no
different. Its REALLY HARD TO WATCH SOMEONE GO.


Today I recieved something that I will and do hold very dear. I opened the front cover, read what was written inside and all I could do is break down.

Shorty, go where you are needed and make a
difference in someone elses life like you have made in mine. If in life
I can change and make a difference in just one persons life like you
have made in mine then I will be shocked/ happy. I support you, adore
you, love you and will miss the hell out of you.
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MY APPRENT FLAWS! [Apr. 5th, 2006|06:44 pm]
[mood |okayokay]
[music |howie day - collide]

Everyone has flaws, nobody is perfect, I know and accept that. HOwever apparently one of my flaws is that I worry about the people I love and about the people that mean the most to me. One time i was told that I care too much about someone. No that not a typo that actually says CARE TOO MUCH! That could be the dumbest thing that I have ever heard in my whole 19 years of exisitence. But apparently it is a flaw that I care too much and that I worry too much about the people that I love and care about. Don't ask me this is what I have been told. Do you apologize for things like this? WHen most people talk about their flaws, you know, its usually i am a liar, thief, u know things along those lines, caring and and worring you usually dont hear about that! Is it possible to worry to much about someone? I didnt think so but if someone knows that it is possible to care, or worry to much about someone plese let me know! I guess I am sorry? I AM SORRY THAT I WORRY TOO MUCH AND CARE TOO MUCH ABOUT THOSE WHO I LOVE, CHERISH, AND ADORE!!!!!!!!!
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GO GATORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 [Apr. 3rd, 2006|11:40 pm]
[Tags|]
[mood |excitedexcited]
[music |ORANGE and BLUE - THE UF BAND]

THE UNIVERSITY OF FLORIDA GATORS JUST WON THE NCAA NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHA!!!!!!

GO GATORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ha I love the florida gators. My boy joakim noah showed UCLA UP!!!!!!! HAHA!!!! I am pretty sure that I need to be in Gainsville celebrating!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dee, i am very envious i wanted so bad to go to INDY to watch the Gators WIN!!!!

HAHA! GO GATORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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i was bored [Mar. 7th, 2006|11:57 am]
[mood |boredbored]
[music |coldplay]

Take this quiz, post the results, and see how much things have changed since then.

4 YEARS AGO

How old were you?: 15
What school year were you in? freshman
Where did you go to school?: ODCS
Where did you work?: didnt
Where did you live?: Tuscaloosa, Alabama
Where did you hang out? ODCS
How was your hair style?: shaved head
Did you wear braces?: nope
Did you wear glasses: contacts
Who was your best friend?: aaron, mike, jamie, adam, charlie
Who was your boyfriend/girlfriend?: none
Who was your celebrity crush?: dont know
Who was your regular-person crush?: dont remember
How many piercings did you have?: no
How many tattoos did you have?: No
What was your favorite band? blink 182
What was your worst fear?: Being alone, losing someone
Had you smoked a cigarette yet?: no
Had you gotten drunk or high yet?: nope

-------------------------------------------------------------
HA HA HA!!! LETS SEE WHAT YOU ARE NOW !!!!!
----------------------------------------------------------------

How old are you?: 19
What school year are you in?: freahman at UA
Where do you go to school?: UA
Where do you live?: tuscaloosa
Where do you hang out? cold stone, suzys, hollys on thurs nite... HA!
How is your hair style? i really dont have a hair style i just wear a hat
Do you wear braces?: nope
Do you wear glasses?: Yep
Who is your best friend?: suzy, alex
Boyfriend/girlfriend: none
Who is your celebrity crush?: i dont know
Who is your regular-person crush? hmmm....... i wonder?
How many tattoos do you have?: none
How many piercings do you have?: none
What is your favorite band?: COWBOY MOUTH (WOOT HURRICANE PARTY), dashboard, coldplay, bowling for soup.... ect.
What is your worst fear?: being alone, losing a certain someones!
Biggest regret: we dont speak of that!
Have you smoked a cigarette yet?: no
Have you gotten drunk or high yet? no.... but i have had a smirf!
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hardest thing i ever had to read at one of the hardest times of my lives [Feb. 27th, 2006|01:18 am]
[mood |sadsad]
[music |Bowling for Soup - ALMOST]

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, to teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be, but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way. And sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming these obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.


i was scared two years ago...... cause i thought it was gone...... i came close to leaving and just giving up! i am glad i didnt! im glad that you are still here in my life and i thank God you are! you mean more to me than you will ever know......
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still pissed!!!! [Feb. 6th, 2006|11:08 pm]
[mood |boredbored]
[music |Bowling for Soup - ALMOST]

I SWEAR IF DEBRA MAKES ME GO TO THE UNIVERSITY STORE I WILL KILL HER!!!!!

i dont want to leave the Rice Mine Rd. Store.... i got a lot of reasons as to why.....

1.) first and most importantly.......... SUZY!!!!
2.) I hate the university store
3.) I need to stay at the RMR store b/c of the UA basketball coach!!! :)
4.) i hate the university store
5.) i guess shawn
6.) i hate the university store
7.) i will work everyday at the RMR store if i have too.
8.) i hate the university store
9.) dont want to go anywhere.... closer to home.
10.) i hate the university store
11.) if i leave how will i flash my lights every nite?
12.) i hate the university store
13.) whos gong to stop on the bridge and make sure everything is in order?
14.) lastly but not least..... i hate the university store!!!!

OK... so i have a plan.... yeah i know that this plan might be a little mean and might spread the truth a little bit ( and by a little bit i mean A LOT!) but if it works for christina then it might as well work for me.... RIGHT? SO heres what im going to do ..... Go to debra and tell her that i cannot work at the UNiversity store.... cause my parents dont want me too...... HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BETTER WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IF it dont i will be PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway..... i am in a good mood.... cause hopefully tommorow.....i will get my NCAA MVP 06 game that i have been wanting..... and then on wednesday...... i get ARENA...... on XBOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!! pretty exciting i nkow......


oh and by the way......................................................... ITS NOT A TUMOR I PROMISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



I miss ashley and alex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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PISSED AT DEBRA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Jan. 26th, 2006|02:14 pm]
[mood |irritatedirritated]

ok, i know that i say that i hate people all the time well this time I am FOR REAL!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE DEBRA, DAWN, AND THE CHATAMS!!!!!!!!!! I absolutely hate them if all of the sudden caught on fire in the parking lot of coldstone i would stand there and laugh at them and throw rocks at them....... I HATE THEM!!!! Getting rid of two of the best workers that coldstone ever had just because ddebra is afriad that no one likjes her...... I HATE HER!!!!! UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its ok becuase i can still see ash and alex....

but Satan has a special VIP seat saved for the four of them in HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Debra there is noone that I have ever hated more...... You are by far the dumbest most ignorant person that ever graced God's green earth. Nobody gives a damn about you or your god forsaken family, so shut up telling us that your husband wishes that he could see his mother NO ONE CARES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



I don't nkow is i said this so i thought that I would say it again and make sure that you all got it

I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE DEBRA, DAWN, and the CHATAMS!!
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(no subject) [Jan. 12th, 2006|01:16 pm]
[mood |amusedamused]
[music |Hoobastank - The Reason]

SOOOOOO......... suzy leaves for PCB tommorow....... and NO I dont get to go....... ima little upset by that. I want to go to the BEACH SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BAD...... but i just got to wait until this summer. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!! I have been racking my brain to try and figure out just exaclly what suzy got me for a christmas present that she was not even suppost ot buy me...... because u know she had promised me that she would not buy me anyhting...... bvut i see how it is..... just wait until her birthday on may 11th... hehehehehe!
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(no subject) [Jan. 5th, 2006|04:31 pm]
[mood |optimisticoptimistic]
[music |Bowling for Soup - ALMOST]

I was bored and got online and looked at Suzys LJ, and she had put a year i review kind of thing...... SO here goes mine.

- Staying at Coldstone, even though I "promised" suzy if got another job I would take it.
- My Coldstone family and 4 a.m. nites
- Gaining back one of the greatest people in the world as my best friend and someone that I love and hold very dear.
- Ending old friendships and begining new ones..... thank you ashley, alex, and malcolm.... I love you guys.
- starting and barely geting through my first semster of college.
- watching my phone bills go back throught the roof..... :)
- Watching the movie gladiator for the first time..............(for those who dont understand..... something that I had wanted to do for a long time)
- Surprises and Charlie

* Basically this year has been fun, however at times trying. Sometimes in life we dont always get what we want or what we think that we need. Realizing that we may not get what we wont, is one of the hardest things to do and thank you to Alex, for helping me relize and get through that. In times that are trying we need to hold those that we love and care about close and never let them go.... Freinds are some of the most important people in our lives.

*To my best friend on the whole earth I thank God everyday that we are as close as we are and I thank God that I started talking to you again. I REGRET what happened and wish that I could go back and do thing differently but sometimes in life we dont always get what we want. Tank you for all the nites we have sat up on the phone talking about our problems, thank you being a shoulder that I can cry on, thank you for listening and putting up with my crap 24/7, thank you for not pushing me away when things got hard, thank you running up HUGE phone bills again, and thank you for all those little times and little things that you do that surprise me and let me know that you love me. Thank you for our "languages" and all the times with Charlie and Gladiator..... :). Basically thank you for being one of the most beautiful, greatest, and understanding people I know. I love you with all of my heart and think the world of you. MUAH!!!!

Here's to a HAPPY AND HEALTHY NEW YEAR!!!!!
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GOOD but at the same time BAD [Dec. 21st, 2005|11:18 pm]
[mood |hungryhungry]
[music |Lifehouse - You and Me]

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Matt is finished with his Christmas shopping....... but I am also out of $$money$$. That sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ANyway.... I am finished with work until after christmas..... yay for christmas.... actually i not really looking forward to christmas so much..... but more to the party we are going to havve at shawns on the 26th WOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That should be fun.... I mean messing with brent..... cant be better. maybe trevor will not show up and we will not have any drama....... because you know if he shows up and then the ashley, trevor, brent situation....... dont even dont want to get in to it.

Goin to play some XBOX. WOOT!!!!!!
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